[see also R relating]

Challenge no one about anything. If somebody is screaming in your face that you're wrong, say to them, "You're probably right." If somebody says, the world is coming to an end, say to them "Maybe, but aren't we having a good time, today?" If somebody says, "There is a disease running rampant and it's going to sweep across the earth and it's going to kill all of us," say, "I don't believe that that is possible -- because I know that Well-being abounds. I don't believe that anything that is bad could ever take over all this that is good. It is illogical. Well-being abounds. Oh, I think there are pockets where people have focused and caused a sort of shadow that is disallowing the Well-being, I don't disagree with you there. I think there are places where Well-being is not being allowed -- but I think it is minuscule in comparison with the Well-being."
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/Knowledge/Abraham/Newsletters/V06/placemat.html

Abe……You have more harmony points with every person on the planet than you have disharmony points, because there is much more of you that is in harmony with your Core than you realize or that most of you allow. The closer you come to being in harmony with your Source Energy, the more in harmony you are with each other.

When you think about other people and what they think of you, do you understand that what they think of you has very little to do with what you are? It has mostly to do with the habits of thought that they have developed. It has more to do with them as thinkers than it does with you as the subject of their thought.

If nothing is more important to you than that you feel good, you can form a fantasy about someone who is in your life and they will begin to modify to meet your fantasy, because Law of Attraction is a very powerful thing.

When you decide that you want to feel good, and you reach for the vibration that feels good to you and you establish that as your Tone, either the people around you will be uplifted to join you in that vibration or, if their vibration is already very well chosen otherwise, they will clatter right out of your experience. But what happens to most of you is, while they are clattering out of your experience, you notice they're clattering. You begin to clatter too, and then they clatter right back into your experience, and you clatter together miserably and continually.
Asheville, NC, G-9/5/98
Atlanta, GA, G-9/13/98
Syracuse NY, G-10/13/98

Extract from Abraham-Hicks Apr/May/Jun 1999 newsletter

You cannot be all things to all people to keep them in the place of connection because it's not about you. Their connection is about them. Finally, with enough trial and error, you come away from it saying, "Oh, it's not my job to please them. It's their job to please them. It's my job to please me." It's your job to find vibrational harmony with you and You. Sometimes people hear us say these words, and they worry. They say, "Abraham, you teach selfishness." And we say, indeed we do, because if you're not selfish enough to connect to Source Energy, you don't have anything to give anybody anyway. They say, "But, we worry, if you teach people to just please themselves, then will not they be out there doing all kinds of abhorrent things that will negatively affect the rest of us?" And we say, any abhorrent things that they do, only affect them and others that are a vibrational match to them. They cannot assert themselves into your experience. Everything is about attraction.
Kona, HI -- G-12/9/00-B
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/

You see when you’ve got somebody in your life that’s showing you negative things that you don’t want .You know what that means? You’re vibrating in harmony with those negative things that you don’t want. If you manage through your imagination or through your selective sifting, to achieve harmony with your desire . Its not possible for them to show you those negative things!!

And if they are still showing you those negative things. It’s because you’re a match to those negative things.They are a reflection of what you are outputting.
Extract from Abraham-Hicks tape G-8/3/97
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/welcome.html

Guest

……..If we ignore or deny this lack, this aspect of ourselves which we
judge to be negative. (Jungs dark side) We tend to project it onto
others ……

Abe

Let us tell you why. In other words remember Law Of Attraction, that
whatever you are vibrating the Universe is delivering to you.

There are those who talk about everything being a mirror. In other
words the people that are coming around me are a mirror of that which
I am. And that's talking the Law of Attraction again isn't it?

In other words , our friend [the previous guest] just now did not
realise that she was not actually vibrating her own desire but the
Universe was reflecting to her what her actual vibration is.

And so what they may be getting at , its certainly what our
understanding and knowing about this is . Is that if you are offering
a vibration of lack , but you are not aware that you are doing it the
Universe is reflecting that back to you again and again.

Extract from Abraham-Hicks tape G- 2/15/97
..................................................................

Abe

We are not talking about getting so good at focusing on what you want
that you then have a better tolerance of things that are wrong.

We're talking about getting so good at vibrating in harmony with who
you are that anything that is not in vibrational harmony with that
CAN NOT possibly come to you.!!

So what will happen between our friend and her mother …………..as she
sets this tone there is an integrity with the non-physical energy
that is her …….is that her mother [if her mother is really this
rotten to the core apple that we are making her out to be here] and
our friend achieves this vibrational harmony with this high pure
vibration.

Her mother will never come near her again if she is really that
different…Or ……the parts of her mother that are a vibrational match
to this energy will begin to come into her experience.

So their relationship becomes different. Her mother shows a different
side .

You see when you've got somebody in your life that's showing you
negative things that you don't want .You know what that means? You're
vibrating in harmony with those negative things that you don't want.
If you manage through your imagination or through your selective
sifting, to achieve harmony with your desire . Its not possible for
them to show you those negative things!!

And if they are still showing you those negative things. It's because
you're a match to those negative things.They are a reflection of what
you are outputting.

They are friends helping you to know how you are vibrating. They are
part of the manifestation that's helping you know how to flow energy.
They are part of the process that is giving you the knowledge of how
to flow .

You see how it all fits together?

Extract from Abraham-Hicks tape G-8/3/97

You are the vibrational writers of the script of your life, and
everyone else in the Universe is playing the part that you have
assigned to them.
Abraham-Hicks G-3/2/97, San Francisco, CA
...........................

Guest Q

How much can we affect other people’s interaction with us ………… Their behavior by our imagining ?

Abe

Dramatically ! Conclusively!! Completely!!

Guest

So I can stay with the same two teenage boys and husband …………….

Abe

No they are the one exception <grin> [wild group laughter]

You see here is the way that it works. As you live with them and you see contrasting things that do not please you. And you hold those things that do not please you as your object of attention. Then its reflected in your vibration so then you don’t have access to what you really want.

In other words you are a match to what you don’t want rather than a match to what you do want.

So what happens is, you have to find a way of pulling back from observing so much what is displeasing you. And find a way to imagine more what you do want. Or to selectively sift and give more attention to what you do want.

Lets say that there is someone very close in your life, someone that lives with you, and you are observing something that does not please you. You are not setting your own tone. In other words you’re letting their behavior, and your observation of it set your tone!

So, you feel powerless because the Universe is now responding to that that is being offered. But if you can find a way of stepping back…………..often when they are asleep or not with you………….. and really get your cork floating, at the same time as your holding them as your object of attention. You’ll begin to notice right away that their behavior begins to change.

Now sometimes people say “ But Abraham you said I cannot create in someone else’s experience?”

And we say, this is not creating in their experience. What it is is setting your tone so that you have vibrational access to that part of them. So what happens is as you are offering a consistent vibration, then you only have access from anyone, things that match your consistent vibration.

Extract from Abraham-Hicks tape G- 5/29/97