The Moustacio Monkey is a deviant among ape and well known for its fetish for weeing on peoples heads and for abusing table legs. All of this makes this ape and unwelcome guest at many a dinner party. Except in Soho where its deviance is celebrated by 'Dirty Monkey Day' on June the 24th.

This is reportedly the cover of the first ever Bible. This cheery little message was put there to convince the dirty citizens of Jerusalem to worship Jesus instead of apes. So this told the people that Jesus was more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Being foolish unwashed retards they believed it and Christianity was born!
Dont take offence christians, just turn the other cheek!

The Tarsier is a wily monkey that leaps about the forest using its hind legs. The Tarsier has eyes the size of dinner plates that glow in the dark and teeth made out of copper to help it chew rocks. The Tarsier is the National Monkey of Canada.

The miniature De Brazza monkey has evolved a white beard in order to cover up his dimunitive size. De Brazza monkeys were cruelly used as chimney sweeps for many years until some-one thought of using little kids instead. Despite their size and chequered past De Brazza monkeys live a life of relative luxury in Cathedrals where they are kept to ward of crows and blackbirds.