A reader writes, "It seems as though some guys don't really know if they're serious about a girl until they've slept together. My dilemma is, I want to know beforehand if there's any relationship potential. If I sleep with a guy first, and then find out that he didn't think it would work out, my feelings would be more hurt than if I hadn't had sex with him in the first place. Is there any way around this?"
 
 

Love is progressive and naturally grows over time. As you are kissing, earlier in the day, on the date, you are building trust, respect, and an emotional connection. On the first few dates, you kiss. On the next date, you kiss a little bit more. On future dates, you kiss even more, and might start fooling around a little. You don't have to go all the way around the world intimately on the first date. (Can you wait a couple months for sexual fulfillment if you are going to be getting fulfilled on an ongoing basis, big guy? Do you smell what I’m cooking?!) The answer is, you do both at the same time, in steps, not all at once; you become friends and lovers simultaneously. It's the natural way. Even if you are religious and you want to get married, go ahead. You can determine if someone is marriage material within a few months time. If not, you have to ask yourself, "What am I doing with this person to begin with?" So, you can throw marriage into the mix also, if that is your way. If the man wants to have a one night stand, either he is on the rebound, or has poor relationship skills. You can't rush true love, it has to bloom in it's own time. It usually takes a woman a couple months to fall deeply and feel that way about a man. If she does not feel that way yet, guess what - she is not going to act that way, despite the man’s wishes. What people should not be doing is trying each other out. You either know a person is right before you go too far, or you are just going too far. It’s not rocket science.
 
Generally speaking, more women have better internal love clocks than men. Thank goodness someone does! Stick to your guns, ladies. It's better for him too. What he does not know is women deeply in love do it better, and love takes time to grow. Everything can seem simple to you when you know how it works, even love. It’s the K.I.S.S. theory at work - keep it simple... sweetheart!

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Can you wait a couple months for sexual fulfillment if you are going to be getting fulfilled on an ongoing basis, big guy? Do you smell what I’m cooking?!