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1000 metres under water
 
- does this not remind you of something like 20 000 leagues - or miles - under the sea? Well, it is not quite as long. but still if you think of it one thousand metres under water, without equipment, just like a fish? Well, on the other hand, a lane is 25 metres, times 40, and you are there! So, not that long. or is it?
Well, the idea came to me while I was training in Bitterne Leisure Centre. I like going there with two of my children who learned to swim there, they are both good respectively very good swimmers by now.  It can be rather crowded at the surface, with lots of people taking time off to relax on a Saturday afternoon, just like us. So I started swimming under water, because it is obviously less crowded. quite calm and peaceful actually. For a couple of years now I have been tuning up my diving skills, it is also so much more fun, swimming under water! I must say, I have quite a lot of experience, swimming on the surface, once I have done a sponsored 24-hour swim. with doctors, newspapers and everything. even the radio (I am also quite full of myself, aint I?) Anyway, we i.e. St. Mark's in Woolston, we have this partner church of ours, Buwagi, in South Uganda. mid a year or so ago the vicar there needed a bicycle. Think of that, a bicycle! I thought to myself. for Goodness sake; give the man a bicycle, he needs it to ride to his church from where he lives, or he needs it to ride to the homes of the members of his congregation, or he needs it to ride to his school to teach his children basic skills.
So I thought we could do something, a walk. or a swim, or a concert, to raise some money. But before it same to anything I, who never gets ill, the man with the iron condition, etc, etc, I had two spells of really bad health, one which took me nine months to get over, and one which I really haven't even got the final all clear yet. Spare the details! Still, I had to give up my beloved karate, but I could still swim. Swimming is good for you, like porridge, Daniel, no matter what age, no matter what state of health or condition, so long as you do not pollute the water and heed the doctor's advice. Just take your time and be happy.
So this is what I did, and this is how I got this idea about doing a sponsored dive. It's a year later now, the vicar has his bicycle, but what about his school? Apparently they have nothing there, no boards, no books, no pens. Makes you appreciate what you have got doesn't it Chantelle? ]t shou1d, anyway. So they need some funds, and I felt the need to try and do something about it. Raise some money! Talk to people! Make them feel needed! But not a swim. Swimming is boring. After a while it needs something to spice it up. Count in French, learn Italian, or something. But. hey, swimming under water is much more fun. So come up with a nice round figure, say, a thousand metres, and start the campaign.
I went to Bitterne and suggested my project. At first they seemed to like the idea, but then they expressed all kinds of worries. Could it not be a swim above water? No, too boring. Would it have to be so long? Yes, otherwise there won't be any money. [bad lengthy discussions with all kinds of managers. Yes. they will sponsor me, they said,  but I would have to wait for their final answer. I should get in touch with some kind of health service, St. John's or the Red Cross, for proper surveillance, lest I collapse and there is no one to blame. Is it ageism? Sure I am fifty, but I have been doing this kind of dive for three years now, and I do three quarters of an hour exercise on five out of seven days a week, and I went to the Common regularly every Sunday with my children after Church until they took the horizontal bars away (now I go to Sholing Common). So, with the Lord's help, I am fit I tried to convince them. But no, until now I haven't had their final answer.
Even St. John's haven't come back to me. Do they also think it "risky'? But what about those many people who already pledged a fiver or a threeer (I know the word does not exist)?  What about the many coins I got in the card box on my desk? Do I have to give them back now? Do I have to call my retreat?
Last night somebody cancelled Hooray! So I packed my trunks and I went this morning to The Quays. It took me two hours and forty minutes. 40 lengths and not one more, although it was tempting. But this is about the vicar's pens and not a vanity show.
Please dig deep. Think about those basic items of equipment which we take for granted. but which aren't. Don't throw this pen around, X, don't break this pencil, Y, don't take this board pen away, Z.
7th March 2006, Karl Armin Zimmerman, Woolston.
 

Bridget Baldwin examines  parish documents as part of the
official visitation - Churchwarden Daphne Southey looks on.